Great Moments in Poor Judgment

There's a theory that every child you have costs you 10% of your sanity. With that in mind, consider the following chain of events:

1. Parent tells child that child can have a treat as soon as she finishes the apple she's just started eating.
2. Child decides to cut out the middleman, and flushes the apple down the toilet.
3. Parents decide that since flow is not totally obstructed, things will probably turn out OK, even though the average lifetime for a roll of toilet paper in that bathroom is approximately 1 day. Besides, how long can it take for one apple to disintegrate?
4. After two weeks of the plunger being on constant emergency standby, the apple finally achieves total blockage.
5. Parents attempt to loosen apple with sink-type plumbing snake, to no avail. Parents then make the requisite trip to Home Depot.
6. Option A: Buy the toilet-specific snake recommended by the Home Depot employees for about $30. Option B: Buy the caustic chemical solution marked "not for use in toilets" for about $4. Parent chooses B.
7. After the chemical doesn't work, parent decided to re-try the snake; an operation which requires the parent to immerse his hand (which has open sores from a poison oak exposure) in the toilet bowl. The rationale: the chemical is at that magic concentration where it is strong enough to have killed any germs that tend to live in toilet bowls, yet weak enough that it will not eat through his skin.
8. Other parent decides to invite a guest in to witness the whole procedure at this point. Guest volunteers to get her plumbing snake.
9. Guest plumbing snake doesn't work either, so parents call in the cavalry: the home-repair-savvy grandparents with an actual toilet snake. Clog is cleared up in approximately 45 minutes, if you count the 40-minute drive to the house.
10. Parent returns the guest's plumbing snake at a ward potluck picnic while guest is talking to the Relief Society president.