Reward Offered

I like to garden. I am not a great gardener, but I get really excited when something I plant actually sprouts and produces flowers or something edible. We have a few interesting things, but mostly its a basic little garden. Last year we had a gopher invasion. We had had minor invasions in the past... they really liked the marigolds, all of them got sucked down the holes, but I don't much care for marigolds and they were little plants, so no big deal. But when 4 foot tall tomato plants with almost ripe tomatoes are there one night and missing the next morning, you notice. Last year all of our tomato plants dissapeared that way and various other things too. I was determined that it wouldn't happen again. This year I got a powder that you sprinkle on the ground and it is supposed to scare them away, well it worked for 2 weeks for that area only. I got a better more expensive organic version and it got them out of the main garden so now they are only in the lawn. When I started comparing the ingredients in the two gopher scram concoctions and found that one of the main ingredients in the one that worked was dried blood I was mildly grossed out. The only foolproof plan I have heard of I am both too cheap and too lazy for, that is digging up the yard and laying chicken wire or other metal mesh under the lawn and gardens.

Things we have tried:

calling a gopher service- ( they came back 4 times in the month I paid for it and told me the only way could get rid of the gophers was for me to continue to pay them to come).

a clacker- it made noises under the ground that would sound like a distress signal to the the gophers. That kept about a 5 foot radius of our garden gopher free for $25 and not all the noise was below ground.

flooding them out-wasted lots of water, partially flooded our down hill neighbors yard and didn't bother the gophers one little bit.

chewing gum in their hole- we didn't have high hopes for this one but a neighbor advised it so we thought it couldn't hurt to try - nothing.

Dough balls- The master gardener at Mom's office told us to try little balls of dough with a high concentration of yeast that would then expand in its stomach and kill it. The gopher came and repaired that area while the ball was fresh and it still didn't do anything.

putting flares in their tunnel- I have to admit this one was the most fun and the look on Daniel's face when we told him he would get to play with flares was worth it alone, but the next few days brought 4 or 5 more mounds.

I refuse to use the poisons they sell for killing this pest, because they are very strong and I really don't want that burried in my yard. I am willing to start trapping them as distasteful as that sounds, but I really want a way to get rid of them so they won't keep coming back.

Here is where you come in. If you have read this far you show at least a fairly high level of perseverance, therefore you have earned the right to concoct a scheme which we will test out - if you can sucessfully rid our yard of gophers you will win a prize to be determined later.